A Little Murder Never Hurt Anybody

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  • September 28th - October 1st
  • October 6th - 8th


  • Genre: Comedy
  • Author: Ron Bernas
  • Stage: Main Stage
  • Rating: PG-13

A Little Murder Never Hurt Anybody


It’s New Year’s Eve at the Perry mansion, and Julia and Matthew Perry seem to have it all. But Matthew wants something more — to be rid of his wife Julia so he can have some real fun! He resolves to murder Julia by the new year’s end, and tells her so. She vows to stay alive, and tells him so. And so the game begins — a hilarious year-long match of wits and the witless.

While Julia cleverly dodges Matthew’s devious murder attempts, the Perry friends and staff are dying off mysteriously. It seems Matthew is successful in murdering everyone but Julia. As the bodies are falling, dim-witted daughter Bunny contemplates calling off her wedding to unwitting Donald since all the intended gift-bearing guests are dying.

Enter Detective Plotnik — a Sam Spade reincarnation who suspects everyone but hasn’t a clue. That is, not until Donald stumbles upon Julia and gentlemanly butler Buttram in what Donald mistakenly perceives as a compromising situation. Donald jumps to the conclusion that Julia is the murderer — trying to murder Matthew! A Little Murder Never Hurt Anybody is an homage to the screwball comedies of the 1930’s and 40’s.


Auditions Monday, August 14th & Tuesday, August 15th at 6:30pm,  On stage at 7:00pm — at The Fenton Village Playhouse.

Auditions will be more like improv with some line readings thrown in for fun!

Production Team


Sam Di Vita


Kevin Emmons

Cast of Characters


Matthew Perry - mid 50s. Matthew has never been the brightest bulb in the box, but luckily he’s always been rich, which helps mitigate that problem. He was, however, very smart in his choice of a wife. It’s just that lately he’s been having a little mid-life crisis. He feels in need of a change and has come up with quite a drastic way to bring that change about. Have you ever wanted to murder your spouse? This may be the role for you!


Julia Perry - mid 50s. Julia has always been the perfect wife, mother and hostess. Now that daughter Bunny is grown, she’s been spending a lot of time with her charity work. She and husband, Matthew always seem to be heading in opposite directions these days — and since she’s learned her husband’s nefarious plans, staying away from him may be the perfect solution. Are you constantly trying to outwit your husband - and usually succeeding?


Buttrum the butler - 50 - 60s. Long suffering Buttram has always considered himself above being a butler - expecially for the Perry family. Sarcasm drips from him. But not all is as it seems, and that is totally on purpose. This is a great role, if you can keep a straight face!


Bunny Perry - 20s. Matthew and Julia’s dim-witted daughter (and when I say dim-witted, I’m being kind). She takes everything at face value and has a bit of a - shall we say tactile side? Another fun role, but you’ll have to be pretty smart to play this dumb!


Donald - 20-30s. An up and coming corporate lawyer, Donald is honest and caring and loves Bunny very much, despite her being as dumb as a bag of rocks. He seems the most suitable fiance, the strange thing is, he doesn’t want to invite anyone to the wedding. Hmmmmmmm.


Plotnik - 30 -50s. Plotnik is a wannabe Sam Spade. Tough talking and gum”shoeing” the poor guy couldn’t catch a cold if he tried. You’d think he’d get tired from leaping to the wrong conclusions all the time. A fun comedic role you can sink your spade into!


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